Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
