Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
my poor anus
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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