Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
