Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
