i just had sex bonerless
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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