Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
