Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
