What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
