My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
