I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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