you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
