I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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