my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
