I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
