Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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