porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's just like the Real World with babies
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
