I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
