he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
