If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
