Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
