found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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