porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
