So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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