she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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