I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
