that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
