i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
