You surviving the open bar?
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I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You've changed since you got that strap on
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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