she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
