Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
