So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
