The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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