Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize