More tranny stories later!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
