drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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