My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
