the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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