operation harelip BJ is a go
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
