So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
