porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
