i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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