just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
