OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
