Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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