my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
