Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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