I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
