i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
