Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
