Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
