i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
false alarm. still invincible.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
